I feel better since my last post. I made that post a while back about going vegan, but I slipped and started eating dairy again until 4 days ago, and I’ve been feeling a lot better since then. I binged today, but was binge free for 3 days up until today! I can definately stop my binging habit. I can gain control of my life and be happy again. I wrote up a meal plan for tomorrow and I’m going to start my exercise plan tomorrow. I’ll be sure to post about how it goes. (:
Guys, I need some serious help. The binging hasn’t stop, I’m gaining weight, and I feel shittier than ever. I told my mom about the binging but didn’t tell her how bad it’s effecting me (I did cry though), and she’s tried to help a bit but I keep doing it anyways and it isn’t working. School for me started last week and I’m miserable. Not because of school, though it’s making things worse, but I seriously think I have depression. Today I felt like crying all day and in my last class it got really bad and I was having a really hard time holding it back. I have no interest in anything anymore and it feels like I have no motivation to do anything most of the time. I can’t pay attention in class and I don’t complete all of my homework, and I bs most of my work. And I keep having these moments where I get strong urges to hurt myself, but since I’m in school now I really can’t. When I came home today I binged like crazy then it all hit me, so I went to the bathroom, pulled my pants up so most of my leg was showing, grabbed a curling iron, and started beating myself on my legs with it. And I can’t stop thinking about throwing up. I want to feel pain. I feel nothing, then I feel sad, then I feel happy for a single moment, then it all crashes down again. What do I do? I want to tell my mom I think I have depression but I don’t know how. And I can’t today cause she won’t be home until late but I can’t go on like this. I need help. And sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes, I’m typing this up as fast as I can.